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Elect Pierre Rascail - will work for bones

Sheriff of Stafford Hamlet has gone to the dogs


by: SUBMITTED PHOTO: DAVE ADAMS - Pierre Rascail's hobbies include sports car rides and staying in shape chasing birds and squirrels. He also holds the Guinness Book world record for senior K-9 snowball rolling. This is Pierre Rascail, the sheriff of Hazelhurst Lane in Stafford Hamlet. Pierre has just announced that he will seek an unprecedented 11th term for this position. Campaign signs reading “Elect Pierre Rascail, Will Work for Bones” started popping up in the Stafford hills last week.

In a recent press release, Mr. Rascal reminds residents of the area that he takes his job as justice of the peace very seriously and he has never shied away from a scuffle with troublemakers that threaten the “good life” we enjoy here.

“Has anyone seen a possum or raccoon in these parts since I took office in 2003?” he asked the crowd at last week’s campaign fundraising event. 

In addition to dispatching “undesirable humanoids,” Sheriff Pierre lists his top priorities for the coming year as continuing his fearless crackdown on the growing population of illegal immigrant coyotes and creating an anti-skunk gang task force.

In his closing remarks, Mr. Rascail stated: “Many of you think I have the best job in the world. Let me remind you, this job is not as easy as it looks.

“It’s not just sniffing aimlessly around the acres of open spaces up here on the hill. I didn’t get these scars on my nose and ears hanging out in the dog house. I would appreciate your vote and any spare bones you might have.”  

From his website we discovered that life on the lane is not all work, Mr. Rascail’s hobbies include “sports car rides and staying in shape chasing birds and squirrels.” He also holds the Guinness Book world record for senior K-9 snowball rolling. 

— Pierre Rascail’s owner and campaign manager, Dave Adams, lives in the Stafford Hamlet.



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