Featured Stories

Other Pamplin Media Group sites

Local Weather

Cloudy

43°F

Portland

Cloudy

Humidity: 93%

Wind: 10 mph

  • 17 Dec 2014

    Cloudy 46°F 41°F

  • 18 Dec 2014

    Rain 53°F 45°F


Mark & Dave: City decides if it's yellow let it mellow

Life imitates “Portlandia.” The city of Portland has decided to hold on to the urine-tainted water from Mount Tabor Reservoir 5 and has moved it to decommissioned Reservoir 6 where it may become a water feature once the open-air reservoirs are shut down. We can picture paddleboats on a warm summer afternoon. And let’s name it

after the teen who made it all possible, who peed in it, and call it Lake Swonger.

• • •

The Oregon Department of Fish and Wildlife sent out warnings after last week’s cougar sighting in Southwest Portland. And we couldn’t help wonder if the warnings were for the four-legged kind or the two-legged kind. They advised: If you come upon a cougar, do the following: 1. Never approach a cougar for any reason. (Especially after a couple of drinks.) 2. Don’t run, it encourages cougars to chase. (If they are in high heels you might have an advantage.) 3. Make noise to reduce your chances of seeing a cougar. (We guess their hearing is such that it hurts). 4. Get big.

• • •

According to FEMA, the Federal Emergency Management Agency, 70 percent of Americans have not practiced for — or don’t have a plan for — a disaster. We believe it. Case in point: Gov. John Kitzhaber and Cover Oregon. If he had an escape plan it’s not working out too well.

• • •

So, according to researchers at Cornell University, kids who eat chicken off the bone are more aggressive. We believe it. When is the last time you’ve seen a fight break out where people were sipping soup?

• • •

You think this is cool? Google Now, a personal assistant app, will help you remember where you parked. Using the phone’s GPS and other telemetry, it’ll figure out where you exited your car and remember the location so you don’t have to. We don’t like it. If you can’t remember where you parked, maybe it’s time to stop driving?

• • •

Parking meters in Spain now charge more for gas hogs. Their smart meters add a tariff for driving a less fuel-efficient car. Electric cars park for free. How is it that Portland didn’t think of this first — heads are going to roll at City Hall.

• • •

The Colorado Symphony will offer the High Note Series. It’s just what you think it is, a series of cannabis concerts designed to attract a younger audience. Just as we might enjoy a glass of wine at a Schnitz concert, Colorado symphony goers might light up before the show. It’s the only symphony where lines for concessions will be longer than lines for the bathroom.

• • •

Did you see the fancy “wet floor” warning signs at the Capitol in Salem? The high-end A-frames come in subdued colors and add a touch of class to the building. Officials claim they opted for the $129 signs after a visitor complained the more common $11 yellow signs cheapened their visit to the Capitol. Proving once again you can always get the Legislature to spend more if you complain ... but never less.

• • •

So it can be done. Environmentalist Rob Greenfield made it through a 100-day bike ride without taking a shower. Then he decided to continue his showerless ways and ended up going a full year without taking a shower. You probably met him and didn’t know it. He was seated next to you on your last flight.

• • •

State Rep. Jason Conger upon hearing Newt Gingrich and Mitt Romney had endorsed his Republican primary opponent Monica Wehby for U.S. Senate: “Good. I want to thank them. Newt and Mitt aren’t the most popular names in Oregon.” Conger thinks the endorsement could help him rather than hurt him.

• • •

Now that L.A. Clippers owner Donald Sterling is being forced out of the NBA, the rich and famous are lining up to try and buy the team — including Oprah Winfrey. She is said to be serious about buying the basketball franchise. Good idea. Every time the team gets into a slump, they could call in Dr. Phil.

• • •

If a new draft law is approved in Spain, kids there will be legally obligated to do housework, participate in family life, respect their parents, siblings and teachers, respect school rules, study as required, and maintain a positive attitude about learning. Good luck with that. In America, we can’t keep our teens from peeing in the drinking water.

Listen to Mark and Dave 3 to 6 p.m. weekdays on AM 860 KPAM. Follow them at www.facebook.com/themarkanddaveshow.