Featured Stories

Other Pamplin Media Group sites

Local Weather

Partly Cloudy

71°F

Portland

Partly Cloudy

Humidity: 44%

Wind: 3 mph

  • 20 Aug 2014

    Sunny 78°F 55°F

  • 21 Aug 2014

    Partly Cloudy 79°F 58°F


Mark & Dave: New at 2014 Winter Games: synchronized squatting

Welcome to Russia. Olympic organizers in Sochi were pleased to unveil a new Olympic Village restroom that features two toilets for one stall. No vanity panel. So everything will be synchronized?

•••

Pope Francis, in a social-media message, called the Internet a gift from God. The NSA agrees.

•••

A Portland school board member, presumably upset when his lawn was visited by a flock of plastic pink flamingos, pulled them out of the ground and threw them away — much to the chagrin of the owners of Think Pink, a flamingo flocking company. With the way things are going at PPS, ostriches might have been more appropriate.

•••

Oregon’s major political parties appear to be losing registered voters, with a full 30 percent of registered voters avoiding labels. That’s good news. Our guess is that fewer members means better odds to win that AR-15 rifle that the Multnomah County Republican Party is raffling.

•••

Forbes magazine listed the NBA’s Portland Trail Blazers as the 12th most valuable team in the league. If you add the cost of concessions they go up to No. 4.

Former Blazer Cliff Robinson will be on the upcoming season of “Survivor. “ Uncle Cliffy is said to be a big fan of the show and we figure, if he can handle a few days in North Korea with Dennis Rodman, he can handle anything.

•••

The U.S. Army wants to replace 25 percent of its soldiers with robots as a way to save money and beef up troop size. Might be an idea worth trying at the DMV.

•••

Love won’t keep the Captain and Tennille together. We heard last week that the muskrat love affair came to an end. According to TMZ, when the Captain was asked why the couple was splitting up, he was blindsided by the news and said he didn’t know. Proof that he’d been married 39 years.

•••

Jay Leno, in a “60 Minutes” interview, says he has no ill feeling about handing “The Tonight Show” over to Jimmy Fallon on Feb. 6. He said Fallon is an extremely qualified young guy — more like Johnny Carson than anyone else; “it makes perfect sense.” Of course, Leno knows he’ll be back in about six months.

•••

Americans love their butter. According to the American Butter Institute — yes there is such a group, butter sales topped $2 billion and are up 65 percent since 2000. Per-capita consumption is at a 40-year high of 5.6 pounds. Imagine how much higher that would be if movie theaters actually used butter on their popcorn.

•••

Surgeons in Baltimore successfully replaced a man’s missing thumb with his big toe. The man claims he can now do everything he did before with no problems. Pretty sure nobody wants to thumb-wrestle him.

•••

Calling all bracketeers: Guess the winner of every game in the NCAA men’s basketball tournament, and you’ll be rich! Warren Buffett’s Berkshire Hathaway is offering $1 billion to the person who can fill the perfect bracket. Not picking the Beavers gets you part of the way there.

•••

Fair or unfair, the news last week was that Target is dropping health insurance for part-time workers. That’s not the news. The news is that Target had health insurance for part-time workers in the first place.

Listen to Mark & Dave from 3 to 6 p.m. weekdays on KPAM AM 860. Find them on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/themarkand daveshow.