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Mark & Dave: Make baseball park our new memorial

Good bully, bad bully. Beaverton’s Valley Catholic School is battling cyberbullying with its THINK program, asking students to think before hitting the send button.

Meanwhile, the Texas dad of a high school footballer filed a bullying complaint against a rival team for running up the score to 91-0 in a recent Friday night contest. We checked the Texas Education Agency codes and nowhere is football listed as an instrument in bullying. At least the Oregon kids are advancing the ball.

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Stop us if you’ve heard this before. Major League baseball coming to Portland? Heard it before. Best site: Where Veterans Memorial Coliseum sits? Heard it before. But it’s a war memorial, you can’t disturb it! Heard it before. Then why are we doing this all over again? Because MLB would work in PDX, the site is the best for a stadium (even the most ardent opponents couldn’t stay away from a languid summer afternoon of baseball in a stadium overlooking the river and downtown), and the “memorial” could be upgraded to something that isn’t buried in the bowels of the current structure. But guess what? Heard it before.

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Creativity or desperation, it’s hard to tell. Maybe you’ve seen it: ODOT is placing huge boulders underneath I-205 and Southeast Foster Road to prevent another homeless camp from springing up there. If ODOT ever runs for Portland City Council they get our vote.

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No one is happy with the Obamacare computer scandal; the website just cannot handle the load. We wonder how easy it could have been to get someone like, say, Amazon to run it for the president. Who doesn’t love just a few easy clicks, and within days — presto! — your order is at your doorstep, often free of delivery charges. Where was that thinking a month ago? Oh yeah, the government was shut down. Well, you get what you pay for.

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CNN aired a 90-minute special showing people struggling to navigate the Obamacare websites. Of course, there are some big-time glitches and flaws with the website. But to be fair, you could air the same special on people trying to use the self-checkout at the grocery store.

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Think the U.S. government wastes money? In China, they just completed a lavish seven-story office building to house only eight officials. Pretty sure our government would do the same thing, if only China would loan us the money to do it.

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The FDA is warning Halloween enthusiasts not to wear colored contact lenses as part of their costume. They say the decorative lenses may cause pink eye, conjunctivitis or other infections. No warnings about too much candy or throwing out your back while twerking.

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Speaking of dancing ... In Maryland, students and parents at Annapolis High School will be required to sign a dance contract that prohibits the kids from any kind of “dirty dancing.” If students violate the agreement, parents will be called to come pick up their gyrating juveniles. Remember when we only worried about our kids doing drugs?

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The Transportation Department Office charged with managing more than 2 million miles of U.S. oil pipeline spends more time at oil and gas industry conferences than addressing spills or incidents. Who can blame them with all the free stuff you get at conventions and conferences? Next we hear the Port of Vancouver green-lighted the lease agreement for that rail oil terminus at the Columbia River. It may be a year before Gov. Jay Inslee decides what to do, a year to get these guys back in the field.

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So Oregon has gone to recognizing same-sex marriages (from other states) in spite of our constitution which does not allow them. Mmmm. Keep Portland Weird may have to be expanded to Keep Oregon Weird.

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Gov. John Kitzhaber announced almost $30,000 in additional campaign donations to his 2014 re-election campaign — only he hasn’t (yet) announced whether he will run for that unprecedented fourth term. Mark & Dave would like to point out we have not announced our intentions yet, either. You can send your contributions here in care of the Tribune.

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In Indiana, a woman donated a kidney to a man she barely knew and later married the same man. Some think it’s a romantic act of kindness. We suspect a Craigslist scam.

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When does the weekend really start? Researchers say we mentally “click off” Friday afternoons at 2:39 p.m., scaling down workload and replacing it with Facebooking, emailing friends and online activities. Now you know why this column appears every Thursday. Make a note of it.

Listen to Mark & Dave every weekday afternoon from 3 to 6 p.m. on AM 860 KPAM.